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DON JON: “Joe’s rocking that bod!”

don jon movie posterJoseph Gordon-Levitt as Jon “Don Jon” Martinello, Jr.
Scarlett Johansson as Barbara Sugarman
Julianne Moore as Esther
Tony Danza as Jon Martinello, Sr.
Brie Larson as Monica Martinello
Rob Brown as Bobby
Jeremy Luke as Danny
In theaters September 27

Jon Martinello dubbed “Don” by his buddies because he always gets a hot girl every weekend, is just your average, young Jersey guy. His life is simple. He has a list of things he cares about that define his life: his body, apartment, car, family, church, his boys, his girls, and most of all his porn. Even though he enjoys banging a hottie from the club every week, he still loves his internet porn. Real sex is great and all, but nothing compares to the abandon of fapping to the “perfect” cyber babes. His life is a steady routine, everything the same, one week after the other, until one night at the club he spots perhaps the hottest “real” girl he has ever seen in his life, but she gets away before he can find out who she is.

Through asking around and doing a little Facebook trolling—while he’s taking a break from porn that is—he finds out her name is Barbara (Johansson) and sets up a meet. They meet and slowly begin a relationship. For Jon this is unusual. He’s a “hit it and quit it” kind of guy, so this is new territory. What’s different? for starters, Barbara isn’t giving up the goods right away. That’s something he’s gonna have to earn, but only when she feels she’s ready and it will “mean something.” In the meantime she’s got Jon jumping through all kinds of hoops. She wants to meet his parents; she talks him into going to night school to better himself so he won’t be working in retail all his life; she even starts talking about the two living together. It would seem the player has been played. Don’s boys all have noticed the change in his behavior and his reluctance to not objectify Barbara. Don thinks that perhaps this might be love. A place he’s never been before, so he’s treading lightly. Once Barbara finally gives it up, it should all be good right? Wrong! Babs catches him fapping and is pissed. He swears it was just a fluke and he’ll never do it again. She forgives and the relationship continues. Barbara starts to infiltrate his routine which causes Jon to be slightly uneasy, but still compliant. Jon it seem has given up his porn habit, on the surface, but he’s just taken to watching it on his phone. He even got caught watching it by a fellow student in his class who lightly criticizes the quality of the content. Everything seems fine until . . . Barbara checks his computer’s history and finds all the sites Jon has been viewing. This causes a break up which leaves Jon in kind of a limbo. He’s really not sure what has happened to his life, he only realizes that he wants something more, something “different,” but he has no idea what that is. While in this state of confusion he clumsily connects with Esther (Moore), a woman from his night class who gets Jon thinking that maybe what he’s in search of is real intimacy, not just superficial sensuality, but a real, truthful connection with another human being.

Don Jon is the brainchild of 500 Days of Summer star Joseph Gordon-Levitt who wrote the film and also directed. Joseph gives you a hip, hilarious, and real look at modern relationships and their expectations, and also a look at just how unrealistic our expectations and impressions are and how they are influenced by the media. This movie is fresh, hot, and sexy. Never a dull moment. Scarlett Johansson is so Jerseylicious. She’s got the swag and the accent to a “T.” Tony Danza as Jon’s father is just a riot. Don Jon is a great time at the movies, but not for kids. Adults only for this one! Frank sexual talk, situations, and lots of porn.

P.S. Joe’s rocking that bod!

5 out of 5

Check out the trailer for “DON JON” below:

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