Cheers to a new year! A new you! A new, whatever you want to change about your life. Since I traditionally tend to break my New Years resolutions, maybe this year I will try to be fat and lazy with the hope that it backfires, making me 30 pounds thinner and wanting to become a morning person. That being said, we all tend to have something we want to change about ourselves. Whether it’s our torso profile picture on grinder, or our late night eating habits, we are all on the path to constant self-improvement.
When the clock strikes midnight, it’s like you become born again, re-baptized, re-birthed. But why do our resolutions seem to fade away and disappear after only a few short months? Or in some cases a few weeks? Most of our resolutions are like a new Adele song, fun to listen to at first, then a few weeks go by and you become annoyed after hearing it on repeat for the past three weeks. I feel most of us indulge on instant gratification. If I can’t drop 20 pounds in 20 minutes, why bother? As Miss Sweet Brown would say, “ain’t nobody got time for that!” So when something doesn’t work out in our favor, we tend to move onto the next best thing, and once that “thing” no longer meets our needs, it’s on to the next, and the next. It seems like quite the exhausting and ongoing process. So here are some resolutions that have helped me in the past that don’t involve losing weight, finding a significant other, or drinking less. No one wants to start out the year with a resolution buzz kill.
They say patience is a virtue, but for most people it’s a pain in their ass or a bad migraine headache. Waiting in line, waiting for a drink, waiting for your love interest to text you back, they all sound like horrible experiences. But we must remember that life is a process. Not everything is instant, unless it’s instant coffee. But even that doesn’t taste as good as regular coffee. I know we’ve all heard it a million times, but good things do come to those who wait. I’m not saying to sit on your ass and wait to win the lottery, but when it comes to things that are out of your control, take a deep breath and compose yourself. There is no reason to get bent out of shape if you need to wait a little while longer. Flip your perspective and remember that this will soon pass just like everything else in life. Don’t become frustrated, angry, or upset. That will just cause high blood pressure and increased frown lines. Give yourself time to think things through and focus on something positive, like the end result!
I myself am guilty of not always following through with this. After countless therapy sessions on anxiety-related issues, I have finally realized that all we have is the present. Not 10 minutes ago because, well, that’s the past, nor 10 minutes into the future, because we aren’t Marvel comic book characters with super powers that control the future, but what we can control is now. We can make an outline of things to come, but nothing is ever written in permanent marker. This being said, when you are out with friends, get off Grindr or Tinder, and start engaging in what is around you and begin to converse more with people you are with. I’m sure bttmboy69 can wait for your reply. When your mind starts to drift, start focusing on the small things around you, even if you are sitting in a cubical at work. Look at the lines on the paper or those tacky comfort Sketcher shoes your co-worker is sporting. This will help bring you back into the present reality opposed to becoming adrift.
Only you can be you. Stop judging and comparing like you are the one and only Judge Judy. The more you compare, the more you want. The more you want, the more upset you become. Embrace what you have and quit focusing on the things you don’t. Once you do that you can start putting your main focus on all the good you can provide. The only person in charge of your thoughts and attitude is you. So why cloud your mind with negative and empty emotions? That doesn’t seem fun. Take note of your quirky characteristics and be proud of yourself and all the things you’ve accomplished. Even if it’s as simple as raking up the leaves or cleaning out the gutters, because we all know that yard work can be a pain in the ass. We all need to start feeling more proud and less depressed. You are your worst critic.
Regardless of which road you choose, I wish you a happy and healthy 2016, filled with joy, accomplishments, and lots of laughter. Cheers!