More Issues Than Vogue

Written by Justin Milsk—

Whoever said New Year’s Day was the day to start something new and to make a change to better oneself? With over 80% of New Year’s resolutions failing before Valentine’s Day, mine included, you are probably wondering what to do now? With being on the cusp of winter’s edge, resulting in warmer weather and longer days on the horizon, spring is just around the corner. That being said, it’s one of my favorite times of the year along with Martha Stewart and many other people suffering from OCD. It’s time for spring-cleaning! Let’s get rid of the emotional clutter, organize your priorities, and simplify your wardrobe. Hoarding is so chic said NO ONE EVER.

With now using soda water as a mixer for my vodka and spending a few extra minutes on the treadmill, it’s time to shed off the winter season. No more hiding under layers of scarfs, sweaters, and blankets. Let’s bust out the tack jackets and running sneakers and let’s pack away all long johns, down jackets, and, God forbid, puffer vests. You will be surprised on how much room winter outerwear takes up in your closet. Once all winter attire has retired to a box under your bed, you can now sift through your wardrobe and see what fits, what you regularly wear, and what you want to fit back into. All the clothing you haven’t worn in over a month and can live without should be donated, or if your bank account is a bit dehydrated, possibly sold. Now, with your closet half-empty, go out and fill it up with current staple pieces that will be complimentary to your current wardrobe going forward into the spring and summer seasons.

Now that you are out of the closet, no pun intended, you could use the same concept and inject it into your personal life. It’s time to organize and categorize your friends, acquaintances, booty calls, and love interests. For all those one-night “dates,” go ahead and delete their contact information. If you are single and drunk on karaoke night, I’m sure you can still easily find a certain someone’s info on an app. Don’t clutter up your contact list with people you only see once in a blurry blue moon, because you always run the risk of accidentally texting the wrong person, which I admit I’ve done a few drunken times. While you are on a deleting high, go ahead and also delete those wishful thinking love interests. If you are addicted to someone’s love that isn’t mutual, select, delete, and move on. With keeping these “friends” in your phone, every time you scroll past their contact, you run the risk of bringing up thoughts of unrealistic fantasies, which are only acceptable when on substances taken at raves or circuit parties (from what I hear). It’s time to make your friends an overall priority.

Now that we have your contact list and wardrobe taken care of, it’s time to de-stress. We are all working girls, whether it’s from home, a store, or from the inside of corporate America. With the added pressures of trying to pay off that lousy student loan or credit card bill, we all need to take a mental chill pill. Since Suze Orman denied me and my bank account from taking a leisurely vacation, I now have to resort to something a bit more budget-friendly. Believe it or not, a great way to mentally tap out of reality is through coloring! It’s a cheap and easy way to relax and focus on the present, as opposed to stressing over all the tasks you need to complete in the near future. Stores are now selling adult anxiety related coloring books to help with these issues. Take twenty minuets out of the day, light a damn candle, turn on some lounge music, and bust out those coloring utensils. Or if you have children, just use theirs. After all, you are the one who paid for those Crayola crayons. With lowering your anxiety, you can now think clearly and more strategically on tackling those mundane tasks.

We’ve all got more issues than Vogue, that all needed to be taken care of yesterday. Sit down, focus, and de-stress. Everything will eventually get done, it’s just getting started that can be the most traumatic. Just remember your end result will have you feeling fresh, happy, and relieved. Sort of like a chemical peel. Let’s shed away those winter blues and get down to business.

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