What Thrills You?

Written by Justin Milsk—

Do you get the first date anticipation? Do you make believe a fantasy in your head of how the date will go and what you will name your first-born? Do you feel the thrill of nervousness, anxiety, and excitement, like a bipolar maniac? I did! But now happily in a relationship, there isn’t much excitement of the unknown. For an example, is this guy a mass murderer? Is he really a top? Is he looking for a relationship or just plain looking? All these questions and then some, we ask ourselves before venturing on a first date. Sure you’ve read his stats, swapped a few pictures, and did a bit of photo stalking on social media until you feel reinsured they are somewhat normal and level headed. As normal as we want things to turn out, I feel we all want a bit of a thrill associated with our memory of our date or many cases an online conversation that eventually ghosted. Is this because with our everyday responsibilities on dealing with life issues, we don’t want our dating life to be as blasé as our nine to five work schedule?

So let’s say you meet that special someone and things go from good to better to great in the love department, what now? Do you think we have a difficult time committing to someone because the emotional rollercoaster ride of our single life is coming to a halt? I’m not speaking for everyone, but I feel many of us like the unknown craziness of the wild ride. Now if you have settled down, we need to find a different kind of thrill, which doesn’t come from an unknown Scruff hookup. I guess it’s time to do a bit of soul searching.

With being single for pretty much my entire life (the past 10 years), the weekly blind date started to become a regular situation, like brushing my teeth, or taking out the trash. That said, there was always a slight thrill of what could happen. But does anything ever go according to your made-up false reality? Well 80% of the time, no. When I met my current boyfriend I knew pretty much instantly he was the one. I can’t explain it, but there was that feeling of seat belt clicking together, we just clicked and I felt secure. Everything seemed to fall into place organically and I couldn’t be happier. Though this was a whole new chapter in my life, I’ve never been in a serious relationship. People often say I am like the Great Wall of China, with all the walls I tend to put up. Back in the day, I was an ambitious daydreamer with my head up my ass. I put myself before anyone else. I didn’t revolve around anything or anyone, besides walking my dog and getting white girl wasted Thursday through Saturday. Though in the back of my mind, I always wanted to be in that basic bitch relationship which I often poked fun of. Now that my jokes have became my reality I was a bit lost on how to behave. I always wanted to find that special someone and then ALAKAZAM! I found my boyfriend. Now what?

Is this going to be the end of my single rollercoaster ride, which I’ve being riding every weekend for the past 10 years? I guess it’s onto my next chapter. Where will that thrill of the unknown come from now? My therapist told me I would have to dig a little and find out what else excites me, which doesn’t entail draining my bank account because we all know haute couture and lavish vacations cure all. The thrill of meeting the unknown instantly dulled out and flat lined. So I was now on a mission to uncover my thrilling mystery like I was Sherlock-fucking-Holmes. With dating today and endless dick pictures to choose from, I feel a lot of us don’t end up settling down, and if we do it’s short lived, just like my diet. Single or in a relationship, it’s best to find something that sparks you, which doesn’t just come from a date or a conversation with someone online. If drinking wine thrills you, then cheers! If it’s fine dining, then bon appétit! If it’s retail therapy, then buy it! Just find that “it” which fuels your thrill, and gives you that excitement like going on that roller coaster ride. Buckle up!

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